Oxymoron Quotes & Sayings

A marching band playing music at a cemetery. They're playing music so darn loud, loud enough to wake up the dead.
Even the silent pause in music is music.
He has Van Gogh's ear for music. -- Billy Wilder
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
Question: What is your most favorite color? Answer: Rainbow!
Samuel Goldwyn: What kind of dancing does Martha Graham do? Associate: Modern dancing. Samuel Goldwyn: I don't want her then, modern dancing is so old fashioned. -- Samuel Goldwyn
The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity. -- Douglas Horton
This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
When told a script was full of old cliches: Let's have some new cliches. -- Samuel Goldwyn

Business

‎A period of negative growth.
‎Experts are clueless. -- Steve Jobs
‎If you want to get something done, give it to a busy man.
A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. -- Henry Ford
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Bad publicity is good publicity.
Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no longer need. May I have your permission to destroy all records before 1945? Goldwyn: Certainly. Just be sure to keep a copy of everything. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Buying is selling. -- (used to describe face-to-face negotiation)
Cheap is more expensive.
Dad, thanks for always helping me out financially so I can focus on being an independent woman.
Destroy the old files, but make copies first. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Did you hear about the rich man who said 'I am cash poor'?
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
I am busy doing nothing.
I am offering 100% free information every day for as little as $$$ per month.
I never know retirement mean such hard work. -- [Mr. Miyagi - Karate Kid Part 3]
I paid too much for it, but its worth it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I want my fair share... and that's all of it! -- Charles G. Koch
I was always an independent, even when I had partners. -- Samuel Goldwyn
If it's a classified ad, why is it publicly published?
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. -- Erica Jong
I'm broke but I'm rich.
It's a bit too expensive.
Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt. -- from the movie Rat Race
Minimum wage for a maximum loser. -- from 'The Hot Chick' movie
My unlimited credit run out.
Not taking risks is riskier.
Some things in life are not for sale... unless for the right price. -- N. Haddad
Spare no expense to save money on this one. -- Samuel Goldwyn
The budget was unlimited, but I exceeded it. -- Donald Trump
The building was pretty ugly and a little big for its surroundings. -- Steinbeck
There are people so poor, that the only thing they have is money.
There's work to be done, but make it fun.
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. -- Troly Curtin
We had an unlimited budget and we have exceeded it.
We're overpaying him, but he's worth it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
You can't get a job, unless you have experience. You can't get an experience, unless you have a job. -- (A job seeker's dilemma)
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -- Dolly Parton

Change

A long time from now will be now really soon.
Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant. -- Anthony J. D'Angelo
Change is the only Constant.
Each misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck. -- Og Mandino
Have you lived in this village all your life? 'No, not yet'.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator.
I am strong yet sometimes stubborn. I am opinionated yet open-Minded. I am selfish yet love with my whole heart and soul.
I disagree with unanimity.
I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. -- Ashleigh Brilliant
No matter where you go, there you are!
Nothing is permanent but change.
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
People want to change everything and, at the same time, want it all to remain the same. -- Paulo Coelho, The Devil & Miss Prym
So unimpressed but so in awe. Such a saint, but such a whore. So self aware, so full of shit. So indecisive so adamant. -- Come Undone song by Robbie Williams
Some new beginnings come from another new beginning's end.
The end is drawing near to give way to a new beginning
The end is just the beginning!
The only certainty is that nothing is certain. -- Pliny the Elder
The only consistency is inconsistency.
The only constant thing is change.
The only thing I don't Procrastinate about is Procrastination.
There is nothing more certain and unchanging than uncertainty and change. -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. -- Confucius
Tomorrow starts now. -- Ad campaign by Fransabank
You can really see the weight loss.

Education

‎The ability of writers to imagine what is not the self, to familiarize the strange and mystify the familiar, is the test of their power. -- Toni Morrison
Find distractors and ignore them. -- One of TOEFL exam strategies
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. -- Winston Churchill
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain
Teaching the deaf to hear.
The more you know, the more you don't know.

Family

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now. -- Bob Dylan
My aim in life is to die young when I am very old.
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
Vacation with kids.
When I grow up, I wanna be a kid, Look at all the really cool things a kid can get into, ooh! When I grow up, I wanna be a kid, I wanna have some fun and stay forever young. -- Toys song by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth. -- Ben Folds, in his song 'Gracie'

Fashion

A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. 'Just lost a shoe?' she asked. He answered, 'Nope, just found one'.
I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years. -- Samuel Goldwyn
My girlfriend just curled her hair with her hair straighteners.

Food

Drinking coffee is not my cup of tea.
I never eat before breakfast. -- W.C. Fields, referring to his drinking habit
She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on. -- Arthur Baer, American comic and columnist
Super-size meal with diet coke.
You can't drink it slow, if it's Quick! -- (A slogan by Nestle's Quick)

General

‎Absolutely, positively NOT!
‎I cannot tolerate intolerance!
‎May the most you wish for, be the least you get. May the best times you have ever had, be the worst times you will ever see. -- [An Irish Blessing]
‎The best defense is a good offense.
‎The best self-defense is offense.
‎The most important things in life aren't things.
‎What's the weather like? ... It's fierce mild! -- Dylan Moran
A blind man looks back into the future with the ear-splitting whispers of unconcealed ghosts thundering silently.
A real live ghost.
Ah, the good old times when we were so unhappy! -- French Saying
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. -- George Orwell, Animal Farm
All generalizations are wrong, including this one.
Always be on the lookout for the obvious.
Am gonna stay silent... I promise!
Anyone who does not believe in miracles is not a realist. -- Audrey Hepburn
Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
Apparently some exercise programmes include periods of "active rest"...
Australia is a pretty big continent.
Bad becomes good when worse happens.
Bad is never good until worse happens.
Be here Now, when you can. -- Ron McIntosh
Be realistic: Plan for a miracle. -- Osho
Be still like a mountain, and flow like a great river. -- Lao Tse Tung
Birthing a dawn to this endless night. -- from the song 'Lies' by Evanescence
Complexity is not so complex after all.
Dream but don't sleep.
Dream your dreams with your eyes closed, but live your dreams with your eyes open.
Drive slowly, we're in a hurry. -- Winston Churchill to his chauffeur
Early one morning, in the middle of the night, Two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf Policeman heard the noise and came to arrest the two dead boys.
Easy things don't come easily.
Ever seen a fully clothed person in a nudist colony?
Every exit is an entry somewhere else. -- Tom Stoppard
Everything is so random there must be a pattern.
Excuse me? I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow. -- Fiyero Tiggular, Wicked musical
For you time will always wait. -- from the song 'Hide' by Red
Found my cleanest dirty shirt. -- from Sunday Morning Coming Down song by Johnny Cash
Getting dirty in the bath tub?
Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Gratitude helps in "accepting denial" -- A spiritual note
Half the lies our opponents tell about us are not true. -- Sir Boyle Roche
High heels low lives. -- Comedy drama movie
High rise living gets me down.
How could I have burned paradise? -- song title
I am a deeply superficial person. -- Andy Warhol
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
I am realistic, I expect miracles.
I came for leave.
I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible. -- Oscar Wilde
I can give you a definite perhaps. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again.
I didn't keep score, but it could have been twenty.
I feel the numbness around.
I hate cliches because "They're a dime a dozen".
I hate this feeling of not knowing what I'm feeling.
I hate whiners.
I have nothing to say.
I have nothing to write.
I like to sleep. I like to do nothing. Nothing is my favorite kind of something. -- Callan McAuliffe
I never said most of the things I said. -- Yogi Berra
I want to be a mystery, yet be known. I want to be together, yet alone. Is it too much to ask to be famous yet unknown? To be a wanderer, yet have a home?
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
If you understand life, you must be misinformed. -- Paulo Coelho
If you're gonna do something wrong, do it right. -- [from Friends series]
I'm never Wrong!!! Once I thought I was wrong... but it turned out I was mistaken.
I'm proud of my humility.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
It feels good to be lost in the right direction.
It is so disturbing... that it is beautiful.
It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple. -- Rabindranath Tagore
It took two to make one.
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. -- Opening sentence of the 'A Tale of Two Cities'
It's a step forward although there was no progress. -- President Hosni Mubarak
It's eight o'clock, sir! - Why the devil didn't you tell me that before? -- Overheard in hotel
It's good to be bad.
its more along the lines of pointless hilarity but here is a good pic for just laughs
It's simply hard...
It's wrong to be always right.
Let ur fingers do the walking. -- Johnny Walker
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -- Soren Kierkegaard
Life is full of uncertainties ... or I could be wrong about that?
Like Always. Like Never Before. -- GM Saturn Tagline
Look, it's gone.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give a man a mask, and he will show you his true face. -- Oscar Wilde
Man was predestined to have free will.
Moving forward in reverse. -- Ozzy
My answer is "Maybe", and that's final...
My taste is impeccable, even when it is bad
Never say Never again! -- [movie title]
Night of the Living Dead -- Movie Title
No one goes to that place anymore - it's always too crowded. -- Yogi Berra
Nobody goes to Miami in the Winter. It's too crowded. -- Yogi Berra
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men woke up to fight, back-to-back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot one another.
One should never generalize.
One step forward. Two steps backward.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Plan to be surprised. -- ['Dan in Real Life' movie]
Please turn the lights off when youre away from home.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
Rear its head.
Rebel without a cause. -- Movie Title
Reporter: You say you've never made a picture before? Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that's our strongest weak point. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Same old brand new excuse.
Searching for the light under the sun!
See what I am saying. -- Movie Title
Simplicity is not a simple thing. -- Charles Chaplin
Simplicity is not that simple to achieve.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. -- Leonardo da Vinci
Slow down cuz I am in a hurry -- Jorge L Glez
Slow down to speed up.
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
Some things need to be believed to be seen.
Sometimes waiting is the right thing to do.
Tell them to stand closer apart. -- Samuel Goldwyn
The beginning is always today. -- Mary Wollstonecraft
The brightest thunder-bolt is elicited from the darkest storm. -- Charles Caleb Colton
The clock is two minutes ahead and one hour behind.
The future is now.
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. -- George Bernard Shaw
The good oxymoron, to define it by a self-illustration, must be a planned inadvertency. -- Wilson Follett
The green bin is for non-recyclables.
The heaviest baggage for a traveler is an empty purse.
The left side is the right side and the right side is the wrong one -- Movie Title
The next time I send a damn fool for something, I go myself. -- Samuel Goldwyn
The other day, I saw my cat barking while the sun was freezing me up.
The Right way is the Wrong way and the Left way is the Right way. (Driving directions)
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. -- Paul Valery
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. -- Herbert Spencer
The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.
There are no greater treasures than the little things.
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali
There's no such thing as non-existence.
They say it's not as bad as they say it is.
This page intentionally left blank. -- (Non-blank with the comment)
Time won't give me time!
To be simple is to be great. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
Walking but not moving... nowhere to go on this endless road...
walking on sunshine -- Song by Katrina and the Waves
Walking up stairs gets me down.
We are not retreating.. we are advancing in another direction.
We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one. -- Confucius
We must believe in free will. We have no choice. -- Isaac B. Singer
We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. -- Barry Edwards
When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself. -- Paulo Coelho
You always find something in the last place you look.
You are one of God's mistakes. -- from 'Song to Say Goodbye', Placebo
You have to decide even to hesitate.
You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met. -- from the movie 'I, Robot'
You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it. -- W.S. Gilbert

Government & Politics

‎We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
‎We have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it... -- Nancy Pelosi on health care
A person who doesn't vote votes for the winner!
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. -- Winston Churchill
A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation's heritage, such a phrase may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade. -- Kevin M. Matarese, Fulda, West Germany; as seen in 'Letters', Time magazine, March 5, 1990, page 5
A‎t least, we fought the good fight. -- From a losing politician speech
An abstention is a vote for the winner!
As famous as the unknown soldier.
Deterministic Chaos Theory
Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I'm from the government, I'm here to help.
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. -- Winston Churchill
Only the dead have seen the end of war. -- Plato
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. -- Winston Churchill
The only new thing in this world, is the history you did not know. -- Harry Truman
The soldiers manning the missile launcher will be unarmed.
To conquer without risk is to triumph without glory. -- Pierre Corneille
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. -- John Kenneth Galbraith
United in diversity
Waging war to get peace.
War is diplomacy by other means. -- Carl Von Clausewitz
What did the California Governator call the legislaters when they disagree with him???? "Girlie men!"

Health

A hospital is no place to be sick. -- Samuel Goldwyn
A little pain never hurt anyone.
Alive again in death. -- Nick Brandt
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. -- Yogi Berra
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Be drug-free and smoke some crack. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Did you hear about the two brothers who are exactly alike in their own way?
Did you hear that Johnny's left side was chopped off? It turned out that he was "alright!"
Eyes without sight can still have vision.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. -- Victor Hugo
He lived his life to the end.
He was dead, but he got better. -- from 'Crank: High Voltage' movie
Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
I was comfortable inside these wounds. -- from the song 'Death of Me' by Red
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I'd rather feel the pain than nothing at all.
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. -- Samuel Goldwyn
If my father was alive to hear that, he'd turn over in his grave. -- Yogi Berra
If Roosevelt was alive, he'd turn over in his grave. -- Samuel Goldwyn
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
It's not that I want to kill Lois, I just don't want her to be alive anymore. -- Stewie Griffin
Often it is fatal to live too long. -- Racine
Rehab is for quitters!
The fact that he's dead does not prove that he'd lived. -- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
The first condition of immortality is death. -- Stanislaw Lec
The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying. -- Samuel Goldwyn
The things that bring joy come from those which bring pain.
There is poison in the medicine.
To Live is to Die. -- [song by heavy metal band Metallica]
When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is. -- Ayn Rand
When you are no longer growing, you are no longer alive. You become part of the living dead. -- Kute Blackson
Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village? 'We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago'.

Legal

After Donald Trump's stretch limousine was stolen and found undamaged a few blocks away; he said, 'Nothing was stolen. I had an honest thief.' -- International Herald Tribune, March 2, 1992, page 3

Mathematics

By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.
It is what it isn't.
Straight out of line.
The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
The exception that proves the rule.
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
Why don't you pair'em up in threes? -- Yogi Berra

Recreation

A joke is a very serious thing. -- Winston Churchill
Color television! Bah, I won't believe it until I see it in black and white. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
How come you did what I told you to do, when you know I don't know what I'm talking about. -- [Sherman Dreyer, quoting Samuel Goldwyn while Dreyer was later producing a syndicated T.V. show titled "Communism, R.M.E."]
I want to go where the hand of man has never set foot. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Staying awake to chase a dream. -- Muse (UK rock band) in their song 'Falling Away With You'
The best way to fill time is to waste it. -- Marguerite Duras
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. -- Ronnie Barken
We take fun seriously.
We want a story that starts out with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Who still watches TV on a TV anyway? -- Thomas Hardy
Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing. -- Samuel Goldwyn

Relationships

‎I am perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, sure of my insecurities, absolute chaos.. a beautiful disaster.
‎I am perfectly imperfect.
‎I am sorry, but I never apologise.
‎I am sure of my insecurities.
‎I'm Sorry for not Regretting it!
‎We don't know what we have until we find it. -- Paulo Coelho
‎We need to become more unreasonable but in an intelligent way. -- Governor Jerry Brown
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. -- John Lennon
A half truth is a whole lie.
A man's silence is wonderful to listen to. -- Thomas Hardy
A smile is a curve that sets things straight.
A story told in silence.
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. -- Irene Peter
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
Cold as fire, hot as ice. -- Song by Britney Spears
Did you just tell me I wasn't listening to you!
Die in Love if you want to remain alive.
Emptiness is filling me. -- from the song 'Fade to Black' for Metallica
Everytime I see her, it just eats me inside out.
For your information, just answer me one question! -- Samuel Goldwyn
Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Good friends make good enemies.
Happiness is something that multiplies when it is divided. -- Paulo Coelho
Hate That I Love You. -- song by Rihanna (ft Ne-Yo)
He doesn't have much of a reputation or so I've heard.
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill
Her silence was deafening.
How many of you are single?
I always advise people never to give advice. -- P. G. Wodehouse
I always lie... and that's the truth.
I always say the truth... and that's the lie.
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. -- Jules Renard
I am speechless.
I can resist anything, except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde
I cried myself to sleep.
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
I hate love.
I hate you as much as I love you.
I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. -- Gibran Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
I love acting. It is so much more real than life. -- Oscar Wilde
I love you... me no longer!!
I must be cruel only to be kind. -- William Shakespear
I never liked you, and I always will. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I revel in worrying. If I don't worry, I suffer.
I see better when my eyes are closed, but heart is open.
I wake up to dream about you.
I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
Iam lonely for something absolute, knowing it doesn't exist, and yet I wait within the walls of myself. Outside these walls, even darkness shine more brightly.
If you don't love, you can't live; If you don't live, you can't love. -- Jason Benson
If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me. -- Samuel Goldwyn
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
I'm burning slow on a pale blue flame. I'm so cold, consumed and tame. -- from the song 'Fuel for the Fire' by Ari Koivunen
I'm not going to say, 'I told you so'.
I'm not the type to say 'I told you so'. -- from the song 'Goodbye For Now' by POD
I'm perfect in my imperfections, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses and beautiful in my own way, cause I'm Me.
In love you always win, even if you lose. -- Paulo Coelho
Insanity is the only thing that keeps me sane.
It's cold as hell outside!
It's okay not to be okay.
I've been been burning in water and drowning in flame. -- from the song Under The Rose from HIM
Kill them with kindness.
Kindness is the language that the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
Love multiplies when it is divided. -- Paulo Coelho
Love that I hate you.
Love to hate
Maybe the bitterness will make you a bit sweeter. -- R.M.
Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad. -- Victor Hugo
My friends, there are no friends. -- Coco Chanel
My wife left me because she said I'm addicted to oxymorons. She was pretty ugly anyway.
'No comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. -- Winston Churchill
Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't keep them. -- Anthony Haden-Guest
On generosity: Empty hands are dirty hands.
One must be cruel to be kind. -- from 'Hamlet', by William Shakespear
Only my insanity keeps me sane in today's world. -- Paulo Coelho
Only when all who surround you are different will you truly belong. -- 'Little Man Tate' movie
Our comedies are not to be laughed at. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Our similarities are different. -- Dale Berra, son of Yogi
Parting is such sweet sorrow. -- William Shakespeare
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
Please all, and you will please none. -- Aesop
Second Chance on a First Impression.
See the mirror in your eyes. See the truth behind the lies. -- [In & Out of Love by Armin Van Buuren ft. Sharon Del Adel]
Seriously, you need to lighten up.
She drains me when I'm empty. -- from the song Have It All from the Foo Fighters
She screams in silence. -- from 'She' song by Green Day
Shut up and say something. -- Moe Howard
Silence is the most beautiful noise in the world. -- 'The 4th Floor' movie
Silence is the most powerful scream.
So Close No Matter How Far... -- from 'Nothing Else Matters' song by Metallica
So I say, "Live and let live." That’s my motto. Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the m@#$%^&*! -- George Carlin
Some bachelors want a meaningful overnight relationship.
Sometimes the silence can be like the thunder. -- Bob Dylan
Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. -- Mary Tyler Moore
Sometimes, I'm not me. Sometimes, I'm someone else.
Sometimes, silence is the most important thing we can hear.
Speak to me of love without a word.
Take me to a place where sound and silence meet.
Temper is the only thing you can't get rid of by losing it.
Thanks but no thanks.
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. -- Mahatma Ghandi
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. -- Mark Twain
The cruelest lies are often told in silence!
The hardest part of holding on is letting it go. -- from the song 'Goodbye For Now' by POD
The love we give away is the only love we keep. -- Elbert Hubbard
The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. -- Friedrich Nietzsche
This love feel I, that feel no love in this. -- from 'Romeo and Juliet', by Shakespeare
Too bad Sponge Bob is not here to celebrate Sponge Bob not being here! -- Squidward
Treat me like an angel and I'll be your little devil.
Treat them all the same by treating them differently. -- Stephen R. Covey
Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.
Watching the Olympic Ice Dancers the other night doing their sensual, sexual routines was icy hot!
We know the truth by comparing the lies.
We love each other even when we hate each other.
We seek the light of truth between our white lies. -- from the song 'Sordid Lives'
We were like strangers who knew each other very well. -- from the movie 'Big Fish'
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. -- Molly McGee
When Darkness prevails and Silence governs the place; only then I can See and Hear everything!
When lies turn into truth. -- from the song 'Frozen' by Within Temptation
When told his son was getting married: Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Who can hear the Silent Screams?
Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything of nothing first create; O heavy lightness, serious vanity -- Shakespeare's Romeo
You are my cold sun.
You can't live it down, if you don't live it up. -- on an Old Guys Rule t-shirt
You need to wake up if you want to dream. -- Paulo Coelho
You should know I take my sarcasm very seriously.
You talk in circles when I need a straight line. -- from 'If Love is out of the Question' song by Celine Dion
You Win, I Win, We Lose. -- Lyrics, Kenny Chesney
You're on my list of people that will never make any list of mine.

Religion

And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true. -- Song title for Paradise Lost
Christ was born in year 4 B.C.
Evil isn't all bad.
Faith Divides Us, Death Unites Us. -- Song title for Paradise Lost
God closes doors nobody can close, and opens doors nobody can open!
God hide things by putting them in front of your eyes.
I die every day; I mean that brothers, just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. -- 1 Corinthians 15:31
Lord give me patience.. right bloody now!
Thank God I'm an Atheist.
The first shall be last... and the last, first. -- from the Bible
You are my sweetest sin!

Science

Be realistic: Go for the impossible! -- Paulo Coelho
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
He's ahead of his time.
In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees. This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; but in practice, there is.
Insomnia... the rest within restlessness.
It isn't an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Let's be realistic and demand the impossible.
Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium fishelsoni is not among them. The newly identified one-celled macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long, large enough to be seen with the naked eye. -- Described in the current Nature, 'It is a million times as massive as a typical bacterium.' - Time, March 29, 1993, page 25
The A-bomb is dynamite. -- Samuel Goldwyn
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -- W.C. Fields

Skills

‎Be obscure clearly. -- E.B. White
‎Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
‎Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.
‎The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. -- William Shakespeare
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
Always remember that you are unique just like everybody else.
Are you illiterate? Write for more information. -- Seen on a flyer
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. -- Ambrose Bierce
By learning to obey, you will know how to command. -- Italian Proverb
Can't Remember to Forget You. -- Song by Shakira ft. Rihanna
Chronoscopy is the observation and exact estimation of time. -- Exact estimation
Common sense is not so common.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. -- Winston Churchill
Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. -- Albert Einstein
Do not put statements in the negative form. And don't start sentences with a conjunction. It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by re-reading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. De-accession euphemisms. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration. Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. -- Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times
Don't forget to remember me! -- Song by Carrie Underwood
Everyone writes on the walls except me. -- Said to be graffiti seen in Pompeii
Everything you can imagine is real. -- Pablo Picasso
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Failure is moving forward.
Failure is part of the process of success. -- Robert Kiyosaki
Failure is success if we learn from it. -- Malcolm Forbes
Failure is the highway to success. -- Og Mandino
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
He talks right and runs left. -- Bob Dole, on Clinton's changing-political positions
Hidden talent for public speaking -- Wendell Johnson
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is much better to prophesy after the event has already taken place. -- Winston Churchill
I am so Clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. -- Oscar Wilde
I can't remember having a more memorable time.
I distinctly remember forgetting that. -- Clara Barton
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I failed my way to success. -- Thomas Edison
I have a terrible memory. I never forget a thing. -- Edith Konecky
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one. -- James G. Bennet
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. -- Winston Churchill
I know that I know nothing.
I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -- Benjamin Disraeli
I only know one thing: That I know nothing. -- Socrates
I read part of it all the way through. -- Samuel Goldwyn
I think I'm having deja vu all over again.
I was dying to know that...
If common sense is so common, why is there so many people with out it?
If I look confused it's because I'm thinking. -- Samuel Goldwyn
If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect. -- Ted Turner
If you fail to plan then you plan to fail. -- Harvey Mackay
If you haven't made any mistakes recently, you must be doing something wrong. -- Paulo Coelho
If you're always right, then there is something wrong.
I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong. -- Samuel Goldwyn
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. -- G. B. Burgin
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. -- Michael Jordan
I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
Losers are people who are afraid of losing. -- Robert Kiyosaki
May I ask a question?
Most people are in favor of change, as long as they can continue to do things the same as they always have. -- Bill Phillips, CEO of Body For Life
Most people don't use their initiative because no one told them to
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Reading a book gives us somewhere to go when we stay where we are. -- Mason Cooley
Remember the future. -- Tagline for the movie
Remember what you should forget.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
Spontaneity is good as long as it is controlled.
Stop stabbing yourself in the back. -- Judith Briles
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -- Winston Churchill
Talk less. Say more.
The more I know, the more I know I don't know!
The right kind of wrong. -- Romantic comedy movie
The way to succeed is to double your error rate. -- Thomas J. Watson
There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen. -- Christopher Morley
There's something wrong with you if there's nothing wrong with you.
This report is filled with omissions.
To lead the people, walk behind them. -- Lao-Tzu
We are not anticipating any emergencies.
We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
What did I tell you last time about not listening?
When asked how to achieve success more rapidly, came the quick reply, 'Double your failure rate'. -- Thomas J. Watson, Sr.
You fail to overlook the crucial point. -- Samuel Goldwyn
You have to be clever to know that you're dumb!
You win big when you lose right.

Society & Culture

An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.
Cowards die many times before their deaths. -- William Shakespeare
Drunk people taking care of drunker people. -- Henry Thoreau
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. -- Henry Thoreau
Green stop sign
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. -- George Bernard Shaw
I hate people but I love gatherings. -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
I love humanity but I hate people. -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance. -- Reuben Blades
I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all. -- Johnny Depp
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. -- Nora Ephron
News Coverage!! As news expose rather than cover events. -- Henry Thoreau
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. -- George Carlin
Private community parking lot.
Sometimes, the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy. -- from 'Girl Interrupted' movie
There's peace in the chaos. -- [Seen on a snowboarding billboard near Mammoth Lakes]
We cover the news to reveal them.
When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you are. -- Cary Grant
Why are the paranoids following me?
Yesterday's news is old news.
You non-conformists are all the same. -- Muse (UK rock band) in their song
You're only young forever once. -- 'Newcastle' movie

Sports

Soccer is simple, but it's difficult to play simple.

Technology

Click the 'Start' button to Shut Down the computer.
Keyboard Error. Press any key to continue...
Nanotechnology has been a big success!
Why don't they make the whole airplane out of that black box stuff? -- Steven Wright
With advances in technology, truth is often stranger than science fiction!

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